The first time I ate mold was like something out of a Victorian morality play. It was in boarding school, when fuzzy blue-grey discs would sometimes appear on the bottom of a quiche, or after I saw one of the kitchen ladies use a cleaning rag to cover a tray of cauliflower cheese. We were told it was a good source of protein, and because I complained, I had to collect rubbish for a weekend in my school uniform. Outside the realm of edible mushrooms and respectable fungi and polite society, the idea of eating mold is kinda gross. But here I am, in Control Resonant, faced with the Temptation of Saint Mycology, while my handler screams in my ear for me to put the mold down. I will not. I'm Dylan Faden, and this is Jackass.

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