Since when do we have to pay so much money to be INVITED to a wedding? It makes absolutely no sense, and I don't understand how this woman got so far without saying anything.
If being a bridesmaid costs you a lot of money, that should be your first red flag. If the grooms are rich, they should pay for your attendance so you can enjoy the party. If they can't afford a wedding party, they shouldn't have one, or they should have one that adapts to their budget. It really is that simple.
Friends shouldn't be allowed to comment on your financial decisions so freely or ask you to take on debt for them, no matter how important a wedding is to them. No cultural reason justifies this behavior.
It's unbelievable how some things make people completely blind to the fact that they're acting completely entitled. I wouldn't go as far as to say the future grooms aren't really this woman's friends, but I would definitely reconsider their participation in her life from now on.
Your wedding party shouldn't be paid by your guests unless you explicitly ask them to. Also, they have to say yes, so they should have the option. I mean, you're not entitled to it.
Weddings are getting weirder and weirder these days, and this one is apparently a Ponzi scheme. I'm wondering: if your friends can do this to you, are they really your friends?
Maybe I'm overreacting because I don't understand the whole wedding thing, but this is extremely weird to me. I wonder if the couple does this consciously. It's just as bad if they do it out of entitlement or pure malice, but I wonder.