Let's settle in for another edition of Monday Screencaps after an emotional roller coaster of a weekend that included Michigan fans being served up a dose of karma by the football gods only for me to then suffer through the football gods causing Joe Burrow to fumble.
Speaking of the football gods dialing up an emotional roller coaster, how about the way that game ended in Brazil. The Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders were looking at overtime against the Ravens with the game tied 31-31. And then the 'Boys decided to kick the ball out of the end zone. The touchback automatically puts the ball on the 35.
No time ran off the clock. That gave the Ravens enough time to run deep routes to the field goal zone for Tyler Loop to bang home a 56-yarder for the win.
DALLAS COWBOYS CHEERLEADERS ANNOUNCE THEY'RE 'READY' FOR HISTORIC RIO TRIP, SAPP UPDATE & MR T SIGHTING
All I can think about is Jerry Jones running his mouth about how an old man with money is "dangerous," only for Jerry to hire coaches who don't think through these circumstances. The real tragedy here is that the Cowboys cheerleaders had to make that long flight home last night with an L after they poured their hearts out for the Brazilians. So sad.
• As disgusting as that ending was for Cowboys fans, think about where I'm at emotionally this morning. The Cleveland Browns have a higher probability of making the playoffs (52%) than MY Bengals (50%). Makes me want to puke.
ZAC TAYLOR FACES MAKE-OR-BREAK SEASON AS BENGALS REBUILD DEFENSE AROUND JOE BURROW'S SUPER BOWL WINDOW
• Meanwhile, the Vikings are up to a 78% chance of the playoffs and a 19% chance of playing in the Super Bowl. Kyler Murray, a playoff quarterback? I'll believe it when I see it.
• While I'm on the topic of QBs on teams that make no sense, we have to talk Kirk Cousins and the 3-0 Raiders. Cousins threw three TD passes Sunday and the Raiders now have a 69% probability of making the playoffs.
HOW KIRK COUSINS AND FERNANDO MENDOZA ARE BUILDING 'GREAT' RELATIONSHIP THROUGH RAIDERS WORK, FAITH AND MORE
• The Jim Nantz call of the Tyler Loop field goal is getting all the attention, but wait until you hear the call from the Brazilian broadcast team:
• I've determined that playing golf on Sundays is now great with the NFL Sunday Ticket on YouTubeTV in the cart, but we have to do something about 5 1/2 hour rounds. Courses that see a husband and wife going out need to be paired up with the two guys in their 20s. Sorry, that's the way it goes. We cannot have multiple slow groups clogging up the course.
Maybe joining a country club isn't the worst idea.
NFL SUNDAY TICKET IS NO LONGER WORTH THE PRICE | BOBBY BURACK
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– Gerard says: A couple of my buddies and I stopped at the Davenport Iowa Hooters last Thursday night. There were 10 patrons (all over the age of 50) and 2 waitresses in the whole place. Davenport is part of the Quad Cities that has a population of 380,000! The wings were better than I remembered but no way can Hooters stay open when Thursday night football is on and only 10 people are in there.
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The Packers were playing and 1 guy was rooting for them and another guy must’ve been watching the Indiana Fever because he kept mumbling about Stephanie White. It was just weird.
Where else can we play basketball games? Any ideas?
– Credit to Roger for spotting this one:
THE CRAIG CARTON SHOW–UNFILTERED, UNAPOLOGETIC AND UNMISSABLE. DOWNLOAD HIS DAILY PODCAST NOW!
– Charlie emails: Madonna is Nasty! Was she wearing Depends!?
Kinsey: I saw that. Yes, it was nasty. At certain points, it looked like Madonna, 68, was going to have a heart attack and die on stage. And there was definitely something interesting going on with her shorts. They were extra thick.
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That is it for this Monday morning as we prepare to close out September. This will be a shortened work week for me. I'll get a couple of days off at the end of the week for the first time since July.
Before that happens, it's time to stay focused and finish this month strong before turning off the computer. Let's get after it.