CHICAGO—Touting them as the clean and fashionable solution to a common messy situation, personal-cleansing brand Dude Wipes announced Thursday its new line of flushable khakis. “Every guy knows what it’s like to walk around with a load in his slacks, but you don’t have to anymore with these stylish pants you can just tear off and drop in the toilet,” said CEO Sean Riley, adding that the slim-fit chinos were made with a unique sewer- and septic-safe fabric, and came in a variety of manly scents for extra freshness not to be found in traditional khakis, which simply absorb fecal odor. “Now you don’t have to suffer through that important meeting or first date distracted by the pile of poop you’re sitting on. Just excuse yourself to the restroom, flush your soiled trousers, and pull on a sanitary replacement in your exact size from one of our convenient travel packs. Let’s face it, most guys don’t know when or where they’re gonna drop a deuce, but they can rest easy knowing their pants are ready for anything.” Riley added that if the khaki rollout was successful, Dude Wipes might expand the collection with tuxedo pants for grooms and scrub pants for surgeons.
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