Fed-Up Rockstar Cancels ‘GTA VI’

EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND—Shelving the game indefinitely after major spoilers about the plot leaked online, fed-up developers at Rockstar Games announced Thursday that the company was canceling Grand Theft Auto VI  because “you fucking people don’t deserve it.” “We had this whole exciting game all planned out for you, and you assholes had to go and fuck it up,” said lead game designer Aaron Garbut, who expressed his disappointment as he took a baseball bat to company servers containing every copy of the game’s code. “We hope seeing a little sneak peek of the game was worth it, because that’s all you dipshits are going to get until we decide to publish Red Dead Redemption III, and with the way you’re all behaving, it seems like that’s going to be a cold day in hell. We fussed over every single detail, storyline, and texture, but now you’re never going to get to see all the crazy-ass vehicles and weapons that players could get their hands on. Sure, we’ll lose hundreds of millions of dollars, but it’ll be worth it to put you sick bastards in your place. Plus, we were going to surprise everyone with physical game discs, but now you shitheads can all fuck off.” Garbut also stated that nobody who preordered the game would be receiving a refund.

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