Every family treats their newly adult children differently. I remember turning 18 but still living at home; I didn't have to ask my parents for as much permission to hang out with my friends. Sure, I was technically an adult, but not much changed in my life from being a 17-year-old junior in high school to an 18-year-old senior. If my parents wanted to, they could've reminded me that they paid for my food, car, and housing every time I wanted to do something they didn't want me to. They could've said, "If you live under my roof, you'll live by my rules," but they didn't. They understood that treating me like I was still a child when I could legally do whatever I wanted was going to hurt our relationship with each other. Not to mention, that's just not their style!
When I went to college, I was so ready to live independently that I didn't come home for the entire first semester. While I had some moments when I reached out to my parents for emotional support, I felt like I was functioning pretty independently. I didn't need (or want) my parents to wake me up in the morning, remind me to do my homework, or make sure I ate properly. I had to learn how to function on my own. One big lesson I learned my freshman year was that if I ate multiple bowls of Cinnamon Toast Crunch for breakfast every morning at the dining hall, I was going to gain weight! Who knew?
While I felt independent, objectively, I wasn't functioning completely on my own. I was totally financially dependent on my parents, even though I was an adult. A pretty sizable portion of Americans want their kids out of their house and financially independent by the time they graduate high school, and that was never my parents' vibe. As I see it, as long as an adult child is getting an education to prepare them for the job market, their parents shouldn't leave them high and dry.
Every parenting approach has pros and cons, and I'm grateful my parents aren't treating me like I'm a teenager, even though I'm 27. If you find yourself in that situation, whether you're a college student or a working young adult, Psychology Today reported tips to help young people talk to overbearing parents about giving them space. Although a serious conversation with your parents can help, sometimes parents don't want to listen to their adult children. Sometimes, another adult telling them that they're being too overbearing is a more effective way to change their behavior.