Probably a long time ago, or never. I get it; I'm an eldest daughter as well, and so are my best friends, and we all know what it feels like to always be independent and figure everything out by ourselves. Seems like we found each other and bonded over similar experiences. We learned at a young age how to self-regulate and how to be responsible for ourselves, and since we're at it, for everyone else.
My friends and I are the kinds of women who hear someone has a problem and start figuring out a hundred and five possible solutions for it, even if the other person never expressly asked for our help and they just wanted to talk. The thing that everybody should understand about us, eldest daughters, is that we're wired that way. If you come at us with a problem, we will never interpret that you just need to talk; we'll interpret that you're asking us to fix it for you. And we will, because we don't need you to ask us directly. We see a problem, and we solve it. That can sometimes cause friction with friends because they might say, "Stop, I'm not asking you to fix my life," and our immediate response will be, "Then why did you tell me about it?" If it's not our problem, we make it our problem. And we're dang good at solving everything, which is why we get frustrated when we offer a list of perfectly reasonable solutions and all the other person does is disregard them completely and just keep on complaining. We also have to learn that not everybody is looking for an immediate solution. That makes absolutely no sense to us, because the only way we will ever tell another person about a personal issue is because we ran out of ideas to solve it and we are stuck. Not the healthiest way to handle it, probably, but it's the only one we know.
I am well aware that I should change that M.O and so should all eldest daughters out there. We need time to relax and do nothing, think about nothing, and solve no problem. It sounds wonderful to say it, but easier said than done. We just need some time to learn how to a little self-care and shut down our brains. We can start here, with a collection of memes that all of us will feel related to. After we get a good laugh, we can take the day off and do nothing, for our own sake.