Sometimes we have nostalgia for a life we never lived

There is a difference between remembering an era and imagining how your life would've been in a specific time. Our fantasies might fill in the blanks and make us wonder who we could've been, or who that time would've allowed us to be. So are we really nostalgic for the past? Or are we nostalgic for who we imagine the past would've allowed us to be?

I think it's beautiful to identify those fantasies and try to bring them to the present. Maybe we long for them because we would want to be that way now. The past always seems simpler. We might even fantasize about a life without smartphones; I know I do.

I miss not knowing what your ex is up to, and not feeling constantly watched. I know the solution is simple: I should delete social media, but we all know it doesn't last for long, and sooner or later we will want to be included in every day conversation. I wonder what I would've done with all the downtime I spent on TikTok; I would've probably read more books.

And the time spent on TikTok is not even the worst part of the constant surveillance; it's who we woul've been if we hadn't had the constant feeling of being watched, or being available for so many people at the same time through chat. I have a feeling we would've done so much more for our passions, and we would've gone out so much more, and met new people.

I guess my version of the fantasy is a rather negative one. More melancholic, but well, I can listen to The Smiths as I binge on these gloomy feelings. What if I actually leave social media? Lol.

The past can become a refuge from the exhaustion of contemporary life. Music from the 60s, 70s, and 80s might actually be better than some we have today, but our experience of it might also be shaped by selective memory, and by how we only listen to the biggest hits an era produced.

Experiencing youth in the seventies or eighties must've been something else. What I envy the most, more than the beginning of rock music and the hippie outfits, is the conviction they had that they could change the world through peace and love.

I always talk about this with my grandmother, who was young in the sixties. Aside from whether they made it or not, for her, it was beautiful to be young in a world invested in a revolution based on peace and love.

Imagine being young and listening to the Beatles for the first time, watching fashion change so drastically, witnessing a new music genre, listening to their albums becoming progressively more experimental, rebelling against oppression, letting your hair grow long, fighting for peace.

I seem to be falling into a trap of nostalgia myself; there is no escape. The past always offers a fantasy of freedom precisely because we don't have to live with its limitations.

So let's limit ourselves to fantasizing while we listen to some Oldies and watch this meme list!